Is She Really Gone

I am missing my friend today. A lot. There are days like this when I still can't believe she's gone. My friend Trudy. It's been almost five years since she died. My mind is flashing back on her smile and laugh, her face, and it's hard to believe that I can't just call her and go see her. To describe the friendship I felt with Trudy is difficult to put into words. An unbreakable bond, a joy and comfort that just always felt like "home". Always laughter, but more than just a sense of fun, a deep comradeship. I don't know if I've ever felt as much belonging as I did in that friendship.

Then, out of the blue, her daughter Linzy called, and I instantly remembered it was her birthday (Linzy's). She told me she's getting married this Fall. I'm so happy that she called, and so sorry that Trudy won't physically be there with me to see her daughter be married. Is it strange that talking to Linzy brings tears to my eyes, and emotions well up all over again? I wonder if she feels the same stab of emotion talking to me as I do talking to her. I feel like exchanging memories about her Mom, and saying again how much she means to me, but I don't want to make anything more painful for her than it already must be. She lost her Mom so much sooner than most of us do. I don't know how that feels. I wish all the comfort of the angels for you Linz, and a wee bit for me too, if possible.

July 1, 2011 P.S. I borrowed this photo from Trudy's sister Jenny that she recently posted on facebook. This is Trudy telling me not to take myself to seriously :)

I miss you every day, Trude.